Compared to today, they were very slow and actually got to know each other! Neither did they text or ask for their Instagram (also because it didn't exist) nor did they jump right into bed. I think even until the movie ended, it had been a few weeks and they had just held hands, kissed good night and MAYBE had sex after weeks or months.
It made me think how different dating is these days. I think my last date was in 2018(?) and we just went to the restaurant, talked and walked through the park. But now I feel like a dinosaur, compared to that.
I am still used to times when you either met online and chatted or emailed for a while (and then met) or actually met in real life first (although I must admit, that rarely happened to me).
I heard from friends that it's also REALLY difficult to meet someone these days. Either people ghost you quickly or they demand a lot or don't seem that interested and have a different priority.
I thought I should find out more, so I downloaded Bumble and Tinder (which I had already deleted in Germany, since you basically never get anywhere and women barely even talk or seem the least bit interested).
And wouldn't you know, I did have 50+ matches already within a day (in Germany, I had maybe 10-20 in a year!). Almost all of them were Asian. One or two were Black/Caucasian.
The Caucasian, a Sheila from Australia who now lives in Singapore told me she is 45, divorced, kids. Her profile (if I remember correctly) said "looking for = not sure yet".
Now, I have a lot of red flags for dating. Being Caucasian is one of the first, but since I didn't actually plan to meet anyone or actually be with them, I pretended I was.
Still, I thought: "What does this woman expect?"
We talked a bit about Singapore and how dating has changed. But after my last message in which I simply asked her what her impressions of the country were, she deleted me.
I really don't care, but it confirmed to me why I think dating Western people is pointless.
From a strictly rational point of view, I am a prize and she is not. She is too old to have kids(so I couldn't have a family with her). She already HAS kids (so it's basically guaranteed that she wouldn't ever actually love me, but just see me as a useful idiot while the kids always come first and I won't even be second). She is divorced (yeah, men can be jerks too, but 90% of all divorces are initiated by women, so it's quite likely that she is spoiled too).
Meanwhile, I am younger, probably have a few more years of looks in me (compared to hers which will just get worse) and I actually know what I want. She wrote she doesn't know yet, which to me means "I still want to fuck around, but it would be convenient to have a simp husband who is stupid enough to make my life easier while I cheat or chase other men".
Well, so much for her. The black lady lived in Bali. I thought she was on vacation, so after I knew she lives here, I asked her how she got her KITAS (Indonesian work and staying permit) and asked her in Indonesian what she hopes to find on Bumble.
She wasn't amused that I used Indonesian. For me, I was actually doing it because I was pretty sure that like basically all foreigners here, she doesn't speak Indonesian, despite living here for quite some time.
So, she deleted me too^^.
Those two incidents already showed me why I swore off white/foreign women since maybe 2004. They are almost exclusively spoiled and entitled bitches who want their cake and eat it too. They bring NOTHING to the table (a vagina doesn't count!), they think they ARE the table!
So let's move on to the Indonesians.
As you may know or not, Bumble was (on paper at least) created so that women need to make the first step. A noble idea, right? Surely women, who constantly complain that men only say hi or how are you will be super creative when they write you? They are the gender that has the reputation to be great talkers.
Well...they are not! You're lucky if you actually get a hi or hey, some don't even say that, but send some totally random GIF.
So yeah, if you start a conversation with me like that, for sure I won't try hard. So despite those 50+ matches, you quickly see that out of those 50, maybe 2-3 people actually are capable of having a conversation.
Sift out the hookers or ladyboys and there's really not much left.
There was one girl who seemed eager to actually meet. I said because I wait for my mom to come back from the spa, I can't come anywhere now, but she would be welcome to stop by here IF she is in the area anyway. I did not expect her to drive far or anything.
Sure enough, she was mad though, demanding effort.
Sigh...girl, PAAAA-LEASEEE (rolleyes, gay catty attitude), I wasted so much money and time on making an effort. I flew around the world to meet perfect strangers, travelled in places I didn't know and where I couldn't speak the language. Why oh why should I make MORE of an effort than you to meet you? Are you the Empress of China?
I really don't understand why most women seem to think they are special. I mean, I get why, society and men have spoiled women rotten, but I don't understand why at least some girls realise that and realise that always getting what we want actually makes us unhappy.
For sure this girl would be bored quickly and cheat or dump me if I made a lot of effort to court her. Heck, even with my own mom, I demand fairness and I am strict to her. So why the heck should I give more than 50%? Why should any men?
Of course she deleted me right after, telling me how sexist and I evil and whatnot I am. But it didn't bother me. Even if this wasn't an experiment, I just don't see what the point of it all is.
Women seem to think us guys just want sex and a pretty face.
Well, believe it or not, but even if I know a girl was willing, me as a man, I still get to refuse you! I still get to meet and say "sorry, your personality doesn't attract me", even if she is shocked I didn't like her huge cleavage pics or those weird pictures most girls have now where they seem to floss their vagina by pulling their bikini bottoms as high up their crack as possible. Gosh, just imagine if us guys posted pics where we pull up our speedos to the point we basically castrate ourselves and our balls plop out! Would girls find that sexy? If yes, I would be scared shitless of those girls!
On the plus side, I did find 2 friends I had lost contact with, so it wasn't a total bust.
Still, I don't understand what the hell women expect these days. Most say they want nothing casual, but that's a total lie in half the cases. The girls who say "no one night stands" are usually the ones who want them the most.
And they assume WAY too much!
As Tony Randall puts it so eloquently, don't assume! It makes an ass out of u and me!
One other girl asked me to meet like 7 times over 2 weeks. I said ok, I asked where or what time. She NEVER replied, although she said she wants to meet.
So I dared to question how serious she is. Despite knowing nothing about me, other than my looks, she said she likes me "so much" (yeah, right!).
So after she asked to meet 5 or 7 times, each time not answering or confirming, I said "kamu basa basi aja, harapan kosong aja, bukan serius" (basically like you just give false hope, empty promises, talk bullshit).
Oddly enough, THIS TIME she replied fast! She cursed me and said I would be "disgusting", just "wanting sex".
Now, I never ever had mentioned anything about sex. In fact, I already had the impression from her photos (all in a bikini, big breasts, suggestive pictures) that she seemed easy and not serious. But because I don't want to assume only, I thought I will see if I am right or wrong.
Seeing how she said I would just want sex, I now think that it is actually her who usually has sex way too easily (and whether consciously or unconsciously, she posts such photos, knowing most men will see her as an easy lay) and that even a dull girl like her starts to understand that men only use her, because she just doesn't seem like the kind of girl you would want because she seems tainted or not serious.
So I think that's why she projected her own insecurities and frustration on me, blaming me for just wanting sex, even though, again, as I mentioned, I never ever suggested that (and IF we would have met, I wouldn't touch a girl like her with a ten foot pole).
So yeah, I think dating these days is heavily influenced by many factors.
First of all, in times of Amazon or Tokopedia and Food delivery, people think dating should be as convenient as possible.
Just as with shopping before, where we actually had to go out to a store, compare items, etc, we used to do that for dates too.
Now I feel if we had "GoFuck" or "PussyGrab", people wouldn't mind to order their fastfood boyfriend or girlfriend to their door. Why make ANY effort if efforts require...well, effort?
Maybe at this rate, we will soon have apps where you hit a botton and a drone flies in a vagina or penis, so people don't even have to leave their bed?
Other than convenience, I think the whole equality and neo feminism bullshit has ruined women.
Women in my opinion NEVER were the victims. Sure, women had it harder in the past, but did the average guy back then have a good life?
A woman 3000 years ago was still valuable, because she could have kids. Empires needed kids to be soldiers or to bear them, so they had to give women some protection.
On the flipside, men always had to work hard or die in wars. When did women EVER have to do that? Why doesn't anyone mention that HUGE advantage?
For example, Bali is full of Russian and Ukrainian women right now. Why don't those lazy bitches fight for their respective country? Talk about being privileged!
So yeah, especially in the West, but also here, women just feel they are way too special. When being asked why they should be special, they usually say bullshit like "cos we must give birth, we must work too, etc".
Well, giving birth is a choice! No woman is being forced to have kids. So that's absolutely not anything that makes a woman special. And without a man, how can a woman even be pregnant;)?
And working? Well, women didn't have to work before when they had "no rights", so don't complain or make something sound like a chore if it is a "right" you fought for (but I know quite a few women who actually wouldn't mind to be kept and stay at women. But of course with none of the chores of a woman in the 1900s and ALL the privilege of a working woman).
I said it before, I say it again: our society and the majority of men who are just too naive and stupid have spoiled women rotten! If we don't force drastic consequences on women for lewd or bad behavior, of course they won't change! Women ever only behaved "fair" when they had to compete like men have to.
Why can a woman listen to her boss for example, but not her bf or husband? Because the boss can fire her or cut her salary, ergo, that's a consequence! A husband or bf can leave, but unlike finding a new job, finding a new bf is a matter of hours or less. For a new job, u also need credentials. If women had to tell a new bf about all her misbehaviour or cheating in advance, finding a new bf would be harder too.
For me, dating just has lost all its magic. It was special 20-30 years ago because we still treated it as something special.
Now, dating is dying and constantly changing. It's but a shadow of itself and I don't think it will improve any time soon. Things have to get far worse first. I hope it doesn't come to a complete segregation of the sexes, but rationally, I do think that neo feminism and government are pushing us toward that direction.
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