Do you still remember how we met? How excited and happy we were:)? How we counted the time until we could meet again? That first touch of our hands, that gentle stroke of your cheek, that hand, caressing over your back and hair?
Do you remember us walking hand in hand, full of happiness and excitement at the perspective of our bright, new future? Our long talks on the phone or in person? Our movie nights, our meals at restaurants or at home that always tasted better because we had them together?
How we fell asleep together as almost strangers, but awaking as familiar souls? Embracing each other all night, listening to our hearts beat in sync, feeling each other's warmth?
Our gentle and passionate love-making, feeling so close and connected?
How one of us came home and the other one just wanted to hug you?
Even our fights...weren't they proof that we could make it, dear ex?
Nothing worth having ever comes easy. A relationship without fights or few fights is always a superficial, unhealthy one
(https://corevaluescounseling.com/core-values-couples/never-fight-bad-sign/ ).
And yet, dear ex, you decided to give it all up. You decided to see love as a game or some chewing gum that needs to be spit out, once the "flavor" is gone.
Did it at least make you happy? Are you now in love with someone you don't want to discard?
No, you aren't. And why? Because you don't seem to understand that we are ALL flawed beings. None of us are perfect. But we can become better versions of ourselves because of you, dear ex (and vice versa).
I know that being with you made me stronger. It made me fight harder, try harder, be a better version of myself. But I was counting on you to do the same. And you let me down...
At a certain point in our lives, we have to ask ourselves why we always leave people or people leave us.
I don't know for sure what made you leave me, dear ex. But I know that I never asked for something I couldn't give. That I didn't lie to you or cheat on you. And I know that I always fought hard for us and would still fight for our love for eternity if you would do the same. But, dear ex, it seems you were too scared or lazy or maybe don't know yourself well enough to understand that love takes work, love takes effort and love also takes fighting sometimes. A smart person will see the difference though if someone is trying to put us down for selfish gains or if that person just wants to help us or the relationship.
So, dear ex, I wish you could learn what I have learned from each of you leaving.
The logical lesson should be to never let my guard down, to give up easily and to be emotionally closed up.
But how, dear ex, can I find or deserve love this way? Love should be unconditional. If I want to be loved sincerely, if I want to be accepted for who I am, of course I must do the same.
So I hope, dear ex, that you will learn this some day. And if you understand this, I hope you will remember how we met. How excited and happy we were. And how you didn't just give up on me, but also gave up on yourself and continue to do so...
