When I was younger, I couldn't wait for my birthday to arrive. I would be so excited, counting the days and would spend weeks before it scanning and browsing toy catalogues and making a wishlist. I would plan which kids to invite to celebrate with me and the whole day would be a very nice experience.
Some of my nicest gifts I remember were usually LEGO, be it the Robin Hood Castle, a big Monorail that can actually be used or an electric train that my mom, dad, aunt and grandparents paid for together because it was such a big (and expensive) gift. I later received some more rails for it for Christmas and remember spending a lot of time playing with it and building a big LEGO city. It's too bad that all those LEGOs got lost and some of it was destroyed because my brother didn't take good care of it :(.
Then there was my 15th birthday, I think. We went to a supermarket in Herrenberg that I really liked as a child and my grandmother bought me the computer game "Baldur's Gate 2" that I really wanted after reading a review about it in one of my computer magazines. Gosh, I remember how reading those magazines back then always made me imagine the actual games. I guess I still had a vivid imagination back then.
I was really excited and got to sleep at my grandma's apartment and the next morning (a school day), I would be so happy and started to read the manual at the breakfast table and later in school. The funny thing was, I was actually kind of scared of the game initially (it seemed so dark and spooky) and didn't play it for some weeks. But eventually I did and I must have spent a few hundred hours on it easily.
Basically, I feel like I had a lot of amazing birthdays, in big parts thanks to my family. Although I also recall that the birthday when I got my Gameboy and my first Pokemon game and I had a sleepover with friends from school, I actually felt kind of depressed somehow. We watched "Mouse Hunt" on video and I felt bad for my mom that she had to pay money to rent it because I thought it wasn't a very good or funny movie. We also played outside for a while, climbing over the fence of the factory next to our house until some security guards chased us off.
Actually, this reminds me that I felt guilty or bad a few times because I felt my mother had a harder time than parents around me/of friends. I wonder how that influenced me growing up. Maybe that's why I started to feel stressed and depressed, because I felt the urge or need to repay kindness with kindness? Or that I thought I didn't deserve it for some reason? I think I had a similar experience one other birthday where we rented "Bedazzled" and I also felt bad again because I thought the movie wasn't that good or funny (ironic, because I like it now).
I actually remember at least 3 or 4 birthdays to be rather depressing or with me feeling depressed, although most of those seem to be after I was a teenager or in the last 15 years.
My last few birthdays were actually quite nice. For a while in the 00s, I made it a tradition to eat most of my cake alone (after giving pieces to everyone nearby) and watching "The Matrix" every birthday.
I also don't really care about gifts anymore. Written notes or gestures are much nicer and meaningful and I don't really buy myself gifts anymore either or just very small ones (I returned the Kindle I bought 2017 or 2018).
Although I now plan for my 40th that I do need to do SOMETHING special. But with who, where and how is something I don't quite know yet. I was thinking of saving a lot of money to throw a Line Friends themed party with lots of merchandise. But let's see.
As for today, I will just be happy to attend our favorite Asian restaurant later with my father and maybe visit my grandma if I can. And in the evening, my mom wants to stop by and I said we could all watch something together or talk.
Because I think what makes a birthday special is the people we spend it with. Be it family, someone we love (like 2012), someone we consider family (like 2022) or friends.
