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Dienstag, 1. November 2022

Getting older

Today I visited my grandparents who are living in a nursing home since late July. Their physical, but especially their mental state has quickly deteriorated for the last 6 months.

We didn't want them to be at this home, but my aunt pushed for it and sabotaged our attempt at getting them a housekeeper/nurse, so they could have stayed at their apartment. In fact, they now will lose their apartment and the money from the sale will barely cover the cost for 3-4 years of said nursing home. 

My brother told me that he doesn't want to visit them anymore because "those aren't my grandparents anymore".

I do understand that it's hard to see two people you knew in a different state now being like Guy Pearce's character in "Memento", forgetting everything you talked about quickly. But I also think ignoring them or pretending old age doesn't exist is the wrong way.

My mother was taking my grandma to the cemetery to put down flowers on her (my grandma's) brother's grave. So I was alone with my grandpa who seems really confused these days and also can barely walk anymore. 
I was setting up their tv that my aunt had messed up somehow, so they can at least watch tv again. Although I think it must be difficult to watch tv if you already forgot what happened after 3-5 minutes. 

I was having a half day internship at a nursing home 2020 and it opened my eyes to some of this. It's why I think you can't start early enough to look after your health! Too much salty food, fat, sugar etc and we'll pay a high price when we're older. It must be hell to be caught inside your body, just being able to sit around, waiting for death:(. It's definitely something I want to avoid. 

My grandparents don't even know that they'll never go home. They still believe that "tomorrow", they go home, but tomorrow never comes. 

I was wondering why we don't take care of our Elder at home like we used to. Maybe it's the low rate of home owners (Germany has one of the lowest rate in the world), so people don't have the space? And of course it isn't easy, especially with dementia. But I hope I can take care of my family as long as possible. I think it's mutually beneficial.

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