Halloween 🎃

Today is/was Halloween. Here in Germany, we never celebrated that (we celebrate the first of November as All Saints Day) since it's Irish, so it's not like a real holiday. But over the last 10 years or so, more and more people and especially children started to celebrate it or got dressed up for it and of course like to ask for candy. 

Since we don't celebrate it, I actually forgot when it is. So I was a bit surprised when I was working around 6pm and it suddenly knocked on my door. I opened it and saw a monster with a green face and a girl(?), asking me "Süsses oder Saures" which literally means "something sweet or (we give you) something sour", aka trick or treat. 

With maybe half the Halloween crowd in my town being ethnical Americans (we live near some US barracks), I replied in English, which confused them a little. One of them said something like "was that English?" to the other, but by that time, I already understood what was going on. 

Since I had no candy handy (hey, that rhymes!), i ventured into the kitchen. In my closet, I just had a ton of oat meal and some gummy bears with cake flavor, but I'd either have to give the whole bag to two kids (a bit hard to share) or give each of them some measely single gummy bears without a bag.

So I checked my fridge, but other than the peach yoghurt that expired a month ago (aren't I such a single guy cliche?), I only saw some Foccacia bread and flavored milk.

Finally, I decided to give/offer them my last two white chocolate raspberry energy bars (I love them, but always feel like a fattie after eating them^^) and to my surprise, not only did they know them, but they also seemed really thrilled about their "haul". I was happy I could make them happy and we exchanged some words. Before I could close the door, they asked me if I/we have a cat. I saw it's Jonesy (the cat I adopted) and said yes and called him by the name I gave him (god knows what his real name is) and they said it's a cute name.

After that, I continued to work, but because Jonesy was there, I decided to cuddle with him first. While we both lay on the couch, the doorbell rang, spooking Jonesy. It reminded me that Halloween wasn't over yet. But since I had no more candy, I honestly didn't know what to do, other than hide. 

After 2-3 visitors over the next 2 hours, the knocking and doorbells stopped. But as the evening progressed, I started to think more and more about it and how stupid and guilty I feel now.

I mean, I am so used to my solitary life that I actually hate that I gave away a chance to socialize a bit with kids (which I like anyways because they usually still have manners and are polite) and that I automatically seem to assume the worst about others. 

I thought if I opened the door and told them I have no candy, they'd be mad or something and it's better to pretend nobody is home. But I shouldn't assume. Even if they were mad or something, wouldn't it make for a good story?

And wasn't that first encounter of the evening a pleasant surprise? 

I have noticed this about me in the last 3-4 years. I seem to have become such a negative and judgemental person, very anti-social and misanthropic. But I actually like people. It's just a certain group of hedonistic hypocrites I can't stand. Yet most people aren't like that. 

I really hope that as much as I feel sad and ashamed about my behavior today, I can learn a valuable and lasting lesson from all of this. And treat people better and give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, that's what I often wish people gave me...

PS: Damn, I just remember, I had 2 Snicker Bars in the vegetable crisper!