I failed to pass 11th grade, which ultimately didn't allow me to study and my dreams often revolve around that final year. I have to repeat the class, but either I fail each time or I don't even get to see a report card and thus don't even know if I passed or failed.
So this dream was similar. I got to see former classmates and felt very disappointed that the two or three guys who were my friends back then all didn't seem to consider me as a friend at all. One of them left me standing to go swimming at the Freibad (a communal pool), the other just spent time with me or even acknowledged me if no one else was around. Only the third (who in real life had moved back to a city near Berlin) seemed to be loyal.
This depressed me deeply in my dream and I felt really, really depressed and also sort of clingy to the one remaining friend.
I also dreamt of Martina, a girl I didn't have much to do with, other than a few chit chats here and there. In real life, I found out 2013 or 2014 that she had committed suicide, apparently over a mix of depression and love sickness. And although we weren't close in real life, I always felt she seemed like a very nice girl actually. In my dream, I somehow approached her parents for some kind of closure, which seemed odd/inappropriate to me, even in my dream.
I do have to say that my dreams often seem very layered. Seemingly weeks, months or even years seem to pass in the few hours I actually dream and my feelings are therefore enhanced and increased. That's obviously not always good, especially if it's negative emotions.
I also start to feel very confused at times, because I am always fully or at least partially aware at some point that I am dreaming and don't always know if my "memories" were other dreams I remember within my dream or if this actually happened in real life. It also doesn't help that I re-use the same "stages", which are an enhanced and larger version of my real school (but 5-10 times the size, including some Olympic-sized swimming pools and huge shower and locker systems) or hometown (which was inhabited by ~11000 People back then, but easily has 10 times as many inhabitants in my dream).
I often wonder what my dreams mean and why I often seem to use former class mates as avatars or actors in them when in real life, I am actually no longer in touch with any of them.
I guess they are merely symbols for something, such as a romantic partner/perfect love/a good friend.
It is odd though that I hardly do seem to dream of people I actually do know, spent time with or met.
Some of those dreams also involve severe sexuality, yet no matter how intense or degrading it seems (good that some feminists can't see them), there is always a feeling of pureness and sincerity absout them.
So I already learned not to take my dreams at face value.
E.g., many dreams involve train stations or airports. Sometimes a lot of toilets or elevators. Many times, I also dream I have to pack my luggage (with odd things like steel beams, toasters or book collection, stuff nobody would take on a vacation and whose only purpose seems to be to make sure I will be late).
I don't think dreams about toilets for example mean that I have to pee. I did read that it's about "overflowing problems/stress" or that dreams about flying actually have a sexual meaning (I just feel freaked out my teeth just fall out!).
So what do our dreams actually mean? Or do we need to even know? Maybe dreams are just a way for us to cope with emotions we suppressed?
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