Men and Women

What's going wrong between men and women these days? What do men and women even want anymore? 

I grew up, learning that women are more mature than men. That men are basically pigs who just want sex and that women are more mature and want to be serious. That women would appreciate men who are kind, sweet, caring and sincere and that they would reciprocate in kind. 

Unfortunately, reality has shown me pretty much the opposite. 

From what I have seen from friends who were or had been married, from couples, from acquaintances, women are solipsistic. This means their decisions are filtered through their perception as if the world revolves around them. It’s not that they are selfish; it’s that they are self-interested.

This is of course pretty much the opposite of what my mother taught me. And looking at my father, he was taught the same lessons and learned the hard way that words mean nothing (his wife left, came back, left again, cheated, divorced him). 

I think the issue is that the way men and women are raised is different. I could see this when I was a kid with my female friend and her brothers. The mom would ask the brothers (male) to do "male" things like carrying heavy stuff or things that required more risk or physical strength. My female friend was given more "feminine" tasks like setting the table (less risk). 

If we keep that in mind, it makes sense that women by large are not exactly risk takers.

I ever did some research on WHY women are not willing or afraid to take the first step to approach someone they like.

The main reason?

1. Fear of rejection 

2. Appearing cheap/too needy/easy to have.

To me, this makes me laugh in anger. I mean, these are the exact same things that men are afraid of too! So why do men do it? Probably because we already LEARNED from reality that we HAVE to take this risk, or nothing happens. We learn "if you want anything, you must make an effort, even though in most cases, you won't be rewarded or even punished for it!"

Women on the other hand often learn or see that not only do they not HAVE to make the effort, they will still often be rewarded. Sometimes even women who did awful things and don't deserve it. 

If I grew up as a woman, I am sure I would be the same way most likely (anyone would be), because such power corrupts.

Now, don't get me wrong. This is not supposed to make me sound like I hate women. Or blame them. I just think that this huge difference in how parents and later society treats men and women is so different that equality is absolutely impossible, unless men and women had exactly the same pros and cons. But as it is, there are countless things a woman can do that a man can't do, such as false rape accusations, physically attacking a man, being super emotional and often childish with few or no repercussions. And that's not good, not for men OR women. 

Many, many of my female friends have complained about these kind of women at work or as former "friends". Other women who seduced their husbands or didn't do anything at work, yet never had to be responsible for it.

Surely anyone dislikes such people?

And here's the crux of things:

Women seem to expect us men to think like women. Men seem to expect women to think like men. Obviously, it seems impossible for both sides to ever fully understand the other. But it seems neither side is even willing to understand or emphasize!

Women for example seem to care a lot about height, looks, status and income in a man. A lot of women complain online that "although I have a great job and career and make money, nobody wants me!"

First of all, it's not nobody. It's the men THEY want who don't want them (and they should think why they want what they can't have, that seems like a baby that ignores a toy, but cries if someone else plays with it). 

Second, men don't care what your job or income is. Why? Because men don't ask women for money. We KNOW that your house, your money, your income is YOURS. Sure, with equality and all, we should be permitted to ask a woman to give us half or buy US a house, but we all know that this would never happen. And I don't know any men who would be so honorless to even ask for it. Such men do exist, but they're huge red flags for women.

Men also care less about looks than women might think. They seem more willing to overlook height, some extra weight or physical imperfections. In my experience, it is women who harshly judge other men or WOMEN for how they look.

Men on the other hand expect that women use a very straightforward, logical approach to things. That's what you learn as a man. No lies, no games, no BS, just cut to the chase! I can understand how, if you're raised as a woman, that's also super foreign to a woman.

But when we reach a certain age, shouldn't all this become something we learned and understand?

So why is it that men and women are still fighting and blaming each other? Why do so many women claim they are happy being single (and being single isn't the same as being alone btw, huge difference!) and yet they also complain "all men suck, there aren't any good ones"? Why would that matter if they're happy?

They say by 2030, 30-50% of all men not only are single and virgine, but they also completely stopped dating or trying to have a relationship. And 50% or more of all women will be single.

I think it's time men and women stop being so damn selfish and find a way to communicate better. Don't just point fingers and blame, look at what the problem is, put your ego aside and talk to each other to find solutions!