What's the point?

Lately, I have started to wonder if there's a point to most things. 

Since I was a small boy, I feel like I never wanted to be rich like those obnoxious people on tv. I never cared about being some powerful boss and having a "great" career. As a child of divorce, I think I always saw love as the best goal to have in life.

But I think men and women don't really match for love, at least my idea of love. 

To me, being in love and having a partner is about sharing and caring. You find a person that is so special to you for a number of reasons that no other person can give you such a secure feeling. A person that you can share everything with, who also shares everything with you, be it situations, thoughts or feelings.

I was told that women were the mature gender, the gender that likes to talk and express how they feel. Well, I think that's all a bunch of hogwash!

For 17 years, I tried to find a partner. Now of course I have my own flaws and everything, but there are a few things I noticed in all the women. 

1. They don't communicate well:

Even though they are supposed to be good at it, most women don't seem to know how to make conversation. They also don't seem to have manners in some cases, especially since we have instant messaging. Many is the times that women simply didn't reply, even though they read my questions. And it is one thing if someone you don't know does that, but someone who claims to be your friend or partner? Basically, it's a sign that they don't respect you or put themselves in your shoes. 

2. They always have back-ups:

Despite all the talk of equality, women seem to find it sexist and unfair to make the same effort. Even if they found a partner, they always have a whole group of back-ups they keep around as life boats. Not only is that unfair and evil, it's also a good way to make sure any relationship they are in can't work (and they are the reason for it). It's as if you try to stop smoking, but you make sure you sit inside a smoky bar with 2000 cigarettes in front of you. Which brings us to:

3. They have no integrity or will power:

Very few women have discipline or the power to say no. They always seem to succumb to any temptation they're presented with. Whether that's food, smoking, men... usually their excuse is "I am a woman, I got emotional".

By that logic, should I say "it's fine I shot that man or woman, I am a man, I am violent" or something? Should be...

I just don't really see how relationships can work. Of course most men are just the same and this isn't about saying "one gender is better". They both suck.

But I don't know, the kind of love I expect seems to be way too much to ask for. The best you can get these days is to meet someone, fall right into bed, mistake the hormones that come with that and the superficial looks for love and act surprised why a few months later, your mismatched relationship didn't work. And of course they won't blame themselves, but other people. 

Society keeps changing in negative ways and I think that's a big part of it. Without negative consequences as a deterrent, people will just continue to behave in such selfish ways. 

What would be better is if we severly punished cheating (regardless of the gender or financial status) and rewarded loyalty and piety. But of course then a lot of people would actually have to use discipline and in our times of instant gratification, people aren't WILLING to do that.

Yet that's ironically exactly why we are unhappier every year.

A few years ago, the biggest killers for mankind were heart disease and a few others and depression was #5. Now, depression is already #2 and in countries like Japan, most people already gave up on love completely. People there only marry for companionship (like a friend who then becomes like a room mate) or don't marry at all. And suicide rates are sky-high. 

Just a few days ago, I read that oved ⅔ of men in Western countries are single and sexless. Women of course are not (no wonder, if you have no morals and more than one candidate), but 50% of them are also said to be perma single by 2030. 

Especially women often claim they don't care, they enjoy being "alone", although in my experience, alone to them usually means they still have lots of friends, colleagues, pets, family, etc. That's NOT being alone! Being alone means you are really all alone, no one around. 

I don't know, maybe I need to learn to enjoy those superficial, hollow shadows of "love". But I feel like I can't. I simply find it utterly boring and unfulfilling to have sex with strangers or to kiss a hundred women I don't give a rat's ass about.